The death of "custom" guns

Of course I don't mean here (never ever ever nevner ever here!), pumpers keep old school gun customizing alive & well. But in "tournament" paintball, which is I guess what they call that mess of cheating self important chest shavers who get paid by giant evil corporations to fly around the country playing a half dozen 9 second games over the course of 5 day weekends to determine who is the best at nefariously programing a tiny circuit board to fire so many balls per second & and at such a blistering speed that every ball launched is half a Newton from exploding in the gun under the noses of the obviously paid off referees, the custom gun is dead.

It died somewhere between the Gen-e matrix & factory antichop eyes (I think... or maybe just the introduction of the "board" itself). Yeah, that may be it, the microchip... not the electronics so much. If the trigger on a semi electro was a momentary on/off, with only a relay & a some wire between it & a noid, that's a gun that might still need customizing.

Just for you youngin's, a custom gun, as defined by me, is one that has something different about it than other guns. And no I don't mean 5 of the trim pieces are annoed a different color... that's a paint job, not customization. And no as well to "mine has a blah blah board, lets you surf the internets at G3 speeds, while you play!", that's just goofy & sad. You might as well say "look!... my gun decides when & when not to shoot, for me... cause I sure as hell don't know!". Replacing practice & skill with a magic silicon wafer is not a customization of your marker, its a childish fad that will be over before you know it...then all you punks will be stuck with those... those flashing, clicking, flimsy little relics... like... like... like you were the last guy driving an Edsel!

Sorry, what was I saying?... Oh yeah, custom guns, they should be a visual & mechanical representation of you inner person, a mean little window into your soul. The artistic player displays his talents by say, creatively matching a chromed ball detent with the silver in a polished, three-color splash anno, while still not neglecting to have the valve milled out for that needed boost in airflow. The guy who knows his tools will chop his gun up like a hollywood plastic surgeon, taking off up to half the weight (try that today, and you'd be holding an aluminum tube and some wires when your done), and ending up with a gun that looked nothing like the original (again, much like what happens in hollywood). When players were not on the field, thats what we did... mod our guns, make them better than they were before... better, stronger, faster.

Its not just the elaborate & permanent changes done to the base marker that made them all so special, you could pick from sometimes hundreds of different upgrades & add ons. There were so many companies that made replacement & performance parts, I still see a part now & then from back in the day, that I never saw back then! You could get grip frame for your mag that was double triggered, autoresponsed, chrome plated, pneumatically or electronically actuated, made of plastic, aluminum, or graphite. At least 30 choices of cocker bolt stared you in the face when it was time to upgrade your (some say perfectly adequate) stock bolt.

(soapbox time)

Bitter lament: Now-a-days if you walk into a shop & ask for a bolt upgrade, the guy looks at you funny... cause you have a cocker in your hands, and he doesn't know what kind of marker it even is... thinks it's maybe a very old intimidator... cause he heard those were huge. But really, go in with your DM-Whatever, and ask for a new bolt, one option maybe two on a good day. The main functioning & only moving part of the marker, it determines consistency, efficiency, and sometimes BPS... and any given shop is likely to have only one brand/type (if that). Oh, but if you need a feedneck, to replace the perfectly working factory one (who knows why), you have 7 choices... for a feed neck... a feed neck?... yeah, that part on top your hopper sits on... yes I know they are all the same, but they get them made in china for $.014 @, so you gotta have one! What passes for custom today is lazer ingraving and a new board...
returning old timer (speaking up from the crowd gathered around the bitter lamenter's soap box): A new board?...why?? these new guns shoot 30 balls in a second right from the store... don't they?
bitter lamenter: Yeah, they need a new board to adjust the dwell...
returning old timer: Cant they just lower the input pressure & increase the hammer spring tension?... bitter lamenter: No, the gun doesn't have springs or valves as you know them, sorry...
returning old timer: Oh, I see... well what can I do to customize one of these computer guns?
bitter lamenter: Not much really, "upgrade" some of the parts I guess, but most of the ones that actually shoot the ball, have very few upgrades out there to get.
returning old timer: What parts do have lots of choices in upgrades then?... other than feed necks I mean...
bitter lamenter: Well, you got yer triggers, there are usually a few different ones of those...
returning old timer: Really? triggers?? why a lot of triggers though, do they allow faster shooting?... bitter lamenter: No, but they only cost $.008 from china, so there you go.
returning old timer: Ok, so I get a new trigger and... well get me a feed neck I guess, I want my gun to be differet, but what else?
bitter lamenter: Regulators, yeah there are a bunch of those and grips, barrels, and asa's to! returning old timer: Do the regs operate differently? and the asa's, does one have an advantage over another?...
bitter lamenter: No, not really... the regs are all copies of other ones pretty much, and the asa's are pretty much the same as well.
returning old timer: Hmmm... ah, but the grips, can I get pearl or like a polished wood, like the old marksman style mag grips?
bitter lamenter: I wish!... sorry, no just rubber/plastic grips, usually stickie to some degree & with hot chicks on them.
returning old timer: Well that's something anyway... Oh, barrels! now I can really improve my marker, a new barrel from a good company always added accuracy & distance to our guns back in the day!
bitter lamenter: Sorry, they have proven that most barrels shoot about the same, its more about your aim & quality/size paint.
returning old timer: Then why do they still make a bunch of different barrels...
bitter lamenter (interrupts): more than ever really... so many barrels...
returning old timer (continues): ...if they don't improve performance?... Oh, let me guess, $.048 from china?
bitter lamenter: $.17, they are kinda heavy to ship.
returning old timer: Maybe I should just break out the old cocker, it has close to $2,000 into it...
bitter lamenter: Unfortunately, its only worth $150 today, a bit more if its drilled for eyes...
returning old timer: ...Drilled for eyes??? what the..... fuck it, I don't want to know, but will it keep up with these new guns?
bitter lamenter: Yeah, pretty much, they just lowered the cap on ROF again, I think its like 10 bps now.
returning old timer: WHAT?!... all this technology & potential speed and you have someone telling you that you cant use it?
bitter lamenter: Yeah... kinda funny right?

More fast shooting, efficient, and inexpensive guns are available than ever before, but at what price! I mean, price to our collective sensitivities of course, there are only so many different color combos that look good on an ego... and they have been used up long ago. One more argyle & fuchsia DM and I'm gonna puke! Yes there are more choices than ever on what gun to get... but hardly any on how to make it your own. Back in the day, you shot a cocker or a mag, or you lost. But at any major tourney, you hardly ever saw two guns alike, they all had pretty substantial differences... cause most were CUSTOM. You saw things like totally different bodies, tons of chrome plated stuff, crazy forward angled grip frames, pro & home body milling, and hundreds of different giant drop forwards.

You loved your gun back then, took care of it & it took care of you. Oiled it after every use, adjusted the many adjustments to perfection & your teams guns all matched... in general, same model probably, and same anno, but the details separated yours even from your team mate's.

Now I see these tourney rats regularly toss $2,000 gun setups into the dirt of the sidelines, when they stop shooting. Why did it stop shooting? the jackass doesn't have the slightest idea, the one or two guys who know how guns work will fix it. So they go grab another identical power painter and play on (so to speak). Its all good though, cause their brainless sponsors just send them another box of guns, no big deal for the sponsor, the things only costs them $14 from china. The down gun may be fixed, or more likely used for parts, and end up in a greasy cardboard box under a counter in a shop or field house somewhere. All the while, poor Ethiopian players have to use old mech spyders with gravity hoppers... for shame!

Just one more reason to play pump, custom guns are the norm... to us its not just enough to play well (though that is the easy part), we need a gun to represent us on the field... not another clone off the rack.

-maldon007