A semi even a pumper can love.

I think we all know why pump players dislike most semi-autos, it’s a whole “overkill” thing, with some attitude & cost thrown in there… I guess. So why do they then, actually tolerate some semis? Or even stranger still, really LIKE, a very few? Who knows, its as mysterious as trying to decode a conversation between 13 year olds. I do have some theories though… as you might suspect.
Classicality- Yeah, it’s a word… and it means an old damn gun, or at least an old design. Take a VM-68, a classic blow back semi most pumpers at least tolerate & many would love to have a perfect specimen of. BUT it’s not that simple, the Tippmann 98 is almost as old, so why no love there? Popularity? Looks? Cheap, crappy materials? All possibilities, nobody knows for sure.
Closed bolt- Could that be a criteria for a pumper-loved semi? Lets see… Cockers, Excalibers, old Shockers, rainmaker (sort of), most electros that are based on pumps, Palmer’s, Sovereignses… probably a few more I cant think of. That could be a winner! I can think of only one closed-bolt semi that is not generally liked or tolerated by pumpers, the Evil Omen. And that is just a crap gun, so “closed bolt” seems to be a winner for the “things a pumper might like about a semi” list.
Innovation- I think that is a given, pumpers seem to be drawn to the cool new design… But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean the “cool new design, of the same old operating system from 10 years ago, but milled down to be lighter… plus we moved the LPR to a new place, different from the place we moved it to last year!”. That’s not innovation, it’s just making your customers have to buy a new gun every year, if they want the newest thing… pumpers actually seem to HATE that.
Rarity- If you can have a semi that nobody else in your area has, that seems to move it up on the list, towards “markers pumpers like”. But like some of the other factors, it seems that being a rare gun alone, is not enough… especially if the rarity is derived from anodized team or company logos, again pumpers seem to actually hate that.
Looks- This factor is variably subjective at best, and irrelevant in many cases. In fact it almost seems like a gun that would specifically be seen as ugly by most, will attract the attention of pumpers especially.
Operation/functionality- This one works kind of like looks, as in that at times pumpers oddly LIKE operating systems that others would find overly complex, loud, heavy, slow or clunky & inefficient. 7 times out of 10, if a pumper owns a semi, it’s as heavy as a medium sized dog, twice as loud, & shaped more or less like a brick with stuff glued to it. But weather it really does or not, the pumper in question will swear this particular ugly block of aluminum shoots VERY accurately. So yeah it must, at least be perceived as, accurate.
Down to business, what are these unpumpables that pumpers don’t mind? Automags, at least in my area, Mags are a favorite of almost all pumpers. Even those that don’t own a mag & never have, still appreciate them. I mentioned most of the closed bolt semis already, some that pumpers cant seem to ge enough of, are- Anything with the word “Palmer” in the name, AKA stuff, and of course Cockers. From the category of big, bulky, heavy guns, you get- Old matrices & Angels. Some rare old guns that turn pumpers on are like the Vector & Nova. There are others of course, many are guns the average semi player has never seen… or even heard of.
So what’s the point of all this? After all, if your a pumper you know what semis you don’t hate… and if your not a pumper, you probably don’t give two ##### what guns pumpers may like. The point is, I want pumpers to look at a new gun, well not exactly new, but one I think most pumpers have written off as just another tourney-boy agg-o-matic. My wife recently bought me a Invert Mini, and after figuring out how it works, I was very impressed.
Not only is the Mini a totally new & pretty cool operating design, but after some thinking, I see many similarities to the much vaunted Automag. Is it a copy of the Mags operating system? No, not at all, its different in many ways as well… oh hell, let me just go through it-
At first glance, the Mini and its much older distant cousin (thrice removed) have a good bit in common, single tube rear-valve design, rear velocity adjustment, one bolt valve removal, and a low profile. Even some things that seem different at first really aren’t when compared to a later incarnation of the Automag, the E-Mag. This high-end electronic version of a Mag has a fore-grip battery, center feed neck, a hall effect magnetic trigger and even has Cocker barrel threads, all features the Mini has adopted. Finally a feature of the Mini, that while not standard on any Mag, was a mainstay of Automag configurations since HPA first came out- a bottom line mounted adjustable regulator. On the Invert, it regulates incoming pressure, feeds air up through the grip into the valve & acts as an air reservoir. The 18 year old relic typically used grip mounted regulators, because they were the standard before screw in tanks were popular. Is that where the similarities end, do you get inside & find totally different operating systems? Yes and no, the Mini does have some internal parts very similar to the Mag’s, most obvious the return spring and bolt of its FASOR style operation. Both systems also have a bolt guide (called a power tube on the Automag) that keeps the bolt in line & delivers air to the bolt to propel the ball. Another thing these markers have in common is a revolutionary operating system, AGD was years ahead of the other spool valved markers with the Automag, while KEE has delivered the holy grail of modern electros, with an MQ based single tube marker.
Disclaimer: the following is a bunch of technical crap, read at your own risk.
So you ask- “Yeah, yeah they have some similar parts… but how do these two markers differ in operation, and how are they the same?” well, lets go through how they work & we will see! The Automag, elegant in it’s simplicity, uses a regulator to adjust velocity. A simple direct trigger actuated sear to hold back the bolt & momentarily stop recharging the air reservoir once the bolt is forward. With a ball in place & target in sights, here is how the Mag’s firing cycle works- the trigger is pulled releasing the bolt to fly forward, pushed by the pressure in the valve chamber acting on the center piston of the bolt that rides in the power tube, compressing the bolt spring as it moves. At the same time the other end of the sear pushes up on the on/off piston & turns off the recharge air, making sure that this (and every) shot consists only of the air that has built up in the chamber… A given volume of air at a stable pressure, equaling consistent shot velocities. Once the chamber is empty the pressure holding the bolt forward is gone, so the bolt is returned to ready position via the uncoiling bolt spring. At some point the shooter will release the trigger, letting the sear return to the “front up” position (pushed by the on/off piston), capturing the bolt on the sear’s edge& releasing the recharge air to pressurize the chamber and ready the bolt to fire again.
The Invert marker’s operation is no less genius, from the ready state the trigger is pulled, the hall effect sensor signals the board that somebody wants a paintball to fly down range. The board checks to see if a ball is in the chamber with the break-beam eyes, if a ball is present it moves on to the next step. A current is sent to the solenoid from the board, holding the noid open the prescribed amount of time (the dwell), which vents pressure from behind the poppet to the bolt ram channel. As the bolt pushes forward on the pressure in the ram channel, air from the front of the poppet is vented to the back thru a small hole, to balance the pressure & keep the poppet closed. The bolt then passes a second pathway from the noid, adding air volume & increasing bolt speed, the pressure on the back of the poppet at this time still remains high enough to keep it closed. Finally the bolt reaches it’s most forward position, loading the ball all the way into the barrel and venting most of the pressure in the ram channel through holes, into the bolt guide. Since this causes the pressure behind the poppet to fall precipitously, the hole connecting the front and back of the poppet can no longer balance the pressure, the poppet is opened by the imbalance. With the poppet open, a full pressure blast of air funnels into the bolt guide & bolt, sending the ball on it’s way down the barrel. Before the ball leaves the barrel the noid closes again, having used up the dwell time, thus venting the air in the ram channel and letting the spring push the bolt back to the ready position.
Hmmmm… they kinda seem like two totally different operating systems, dissimilar in every way, except for the bolt, spring, and a guide tube the bolt rides on… right? In the details yes, but if you think about it more broadly, they both work like this- the trigger is pulled letting air push the bolt forward on the bolt guide, at a given point, a certain amount of air is dumped into the bolt guide from a reservoir, this air goes through the bolt & fires the ball. The amount of air released depends on the adjustment on the back of the valve, the bolt is then returned by a spring to await the next shot. So in a lot of ways that really matter, these markers are very similar in overall operation & configuration, and in a few ways that are really just details they differ substantially. The Invert Mini is not exactly like a Mag or even an E-Mag, but if AGD had waited 15 years or so to design the Automag, it might very well have been the Mini. So pumpers out there, give the Mini a look (or a second look) if your in the market for a semi. It may not be a 5lb. brick, 15 years old, or made by some obscure company… But it’s an innovative marker, made with quality craftsmanship, that shoots damn good. And while I compare it to a Mag, I know it’s not as cool an awesome E-Mag, might not even be the “next best thing” to one… But if you don’t feel like buying the latest incarnation of a Timmy, or as it has been more recently, the next improved version of a hollow-pointed Ion, try a Mini.
Animation of the operating systems of these markers can both be found at zdspb.com, along with lots of other cool stuff.
By- maldon007

Our pumps are Harley Davidsons, metaphorically speaking.

So have you ever noticed how Harley riders (yes, generalizing again) don't particularly like Jap bikes? Yeah, me to... why do you suppose that is? Maybe it's cause the money spent on these "crotch rockets" goes over seas, and takes jobs from American workers. Yup, could be that, Hog riders are often patriotic types. But the hatred of "rice burners" and their associated "squiddy" riders is near pathological, it cant be just fervent pride of country, I have never seen . Could it be the seizure inducing bright colors that many "zoom-splat's" are painted up with? Since the colorful bikes may make the notoriously homophobic Harley huggers assume all "lane weavers" are as queer as three dollar bills? Maybe, but I don't think we have to go that far... the simple fact is, the "big twin" boys don't like how FAST these little bikes are. They are waaay faster than any v-twin short of a top fuel drag Harley... and those are probably so far from a real Harley its not funny.

BUT!... the Harley rider doesn't hate all other bikes, in fact they seem to have a soft spot for BMW's, not sure why. Could it be the whole German association? I mean, we all know most double thumper humpers are just a signed declaration away from being Nazis... they have that damn party sign up sheet somewhere... maybe out back in the meth lab! Oh, where was I, so yeah hogsters like Beemers, but they also like Italian bikes, I see Ducati's rolling with Milwaukee steel all the time... what gives? Oh yeah, Italy + Germany = Axis! ...Oh wait, the Japanese were in there to weren't they, oh well, there goes that idea.

Anyway the REAL point is, pumpers are the Panhead pilots of paintball... we like a little extra chrome crap gimmicked up on our "rides", we run in groups with matching patches & cool nicknames stenciled on our backs, we spend way too much on gear & say "well, look at the craftsmanship, this is not some chinese built junk!!". We often wear fingerless gloves & some kind of head wrap, and NEVER wear helmets. Oh yeah, dont get me started on the tattoos & leather we both tend to sport! But the really real main connection is, pumpers & hogsters both sacrifice speed for quality & style. And another thing, much like the ricers that buzz by Harleys at times, we have to deal with super fast guns shooting past us... and we have a similar response to them. As fast as they are going, they have to run out of gas soon, and when they do, we will catch up to them & beat their asses... no, wait... shoot their asses, that's it.

disclaimer- the statements above are 100% nonsense & are in no way ment to provoke the anger of any Harley riders! Just jokes... bad, tasetless jokes.

-maldon007

Pride in the name of pump love

I slip on a root, the ground is wet from the night's rain, just catch myself in time... won't smash this $400 S6 I borrowed even if I fall... just twist & land on my head to keep it safe.

Battle up ahead, hear the ramping Tippmenn rocking... and the faint farting thud of Tim's pump in there somewhere, I'm going the right way. Hope dad is keeping up... look back, he's shooting off to the side, stopping some choad from flanking us... nice.

I see yellow circles ahead, ducking, dodging, yelling, pointing, LEADING a charge. I look for an open spot, a place we are weak... so I can fill it... not really any. So I drift left & look for a spot those pompous brits are weak & not covering... there are many. I pop up behind a hedge row & cap two guys at big oaks, they might normally ignore the one or two hits especially from so far away, but they are already being pummeled from other angles... my little extra just makes cheating too hard, they walk off... heads down.

I jog off to the right, my guys are pushing up, blue armbands are falling like leaves, many play on when hit... they seem to be mad. I pass my boys...my team... my family, they have this area covered. Maybe I can go around to the right & hit them from the side... soften them up for further destruction. I go way passed the last red band I can see, hook back left now...looking for a trail or open spot to get through. A single dark figure ahead, moving steadily through the woods...not towards me, must be... yup, a Ninja. Just then he stabs his black Micro-Phantom out like a sabre, 200' away, a guy flinches & looks around... then up, as if thinking it's going to rain. I confirm his forecast with the S6's deadly AT to keep him honest... he does the right thing.

All day long it was like that, moving from place to place, seeing those smiley faces just smashing all opposition. We lost one battle I can think of, it was not the whole crew though... not sure it counts. Trying to hold a little clearing with a sand bag emplacement in the middle. It took being 3/4 surrounded... by at least 5 times our numbers to get us out of there, and they lost many in the effort.

These guys play like poetry, leaning out into hail storms of full-auto Tippy fire to deliver single magic bullets to their enemy's faces. Driving our side's gaggles of newbs, that typically followed at a safe distance, up into the fight to at least be cannon fodder & use up some of our enemy's paint. Calling out hit locations on opponents many leagues distant... at one point I heard a call of "On your left toe player". And though that guy didn't leave... I was close enough (since I was dead & walking off) to hear him say to his buddy- "There's no way that broke", implying he had indeed felt a hit in to the toe, but was not going to check it... for shame!

When asked to switch sides, to help with team imbalance, we were "trigger" happy to help out (sorry). But it mattered not, for whichever side we took, the other was taunted & spat upon, and many farm animals were hurled at them in their sorrow. I wont go through and name everyone, but you all know how well you played... heroic efforts from everyone. I would name some standouts, but truly they ALL stood out to me.

I could not be prouder of how my Trigger Happy brothers played this past weekend, there was no group or team that could stand against them man for man, and some of our men were boys... and many more were pretty damn old! I think Heath Ledger said it best, as far as playing scenario games with you guys... I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

<3 Don.

Pumpy goodness now on 68caliber.com!!

Thanks to Steve at 68caliber.com for giving me a corner of the site to blather on about pumpisciousness & pumposcity. I hope I can make, at least some, of you pumpers proud... though I know you cant please most of the people hardly any of the time.

I give all props to 68cal for letting the pumpers have a forum... or at least one pumper :P

The death of "custom" guns

Of course I don't mean here (never ever ever nevner ever here!), pumpers keep old school gun customizing alive & well. But in "tournament" paintball, which is I guess what they call that mess of cheating self important chest shavers who get paid by giant evil corporations to fly around the country playing a half dozen 9 second games over the course of 5 day weekends to determine who is the best at nefariously programing a tiny circuit board to fire so many balls per second & and at such a blistering speed that every ball launched is half a Newton from exploding in the gun under the noses of the obviously paid off referees, the custom gun is dead.

It died somewhere between the Gen-e matrix & factory antichop eyes (I think... or maybe just the introduction of the "board" itself). Yeah, that may be it, the microchip... not the electronics so much. If the trigger on a semi electro was a momentary on/off, with only a relay & a some wire between it & a noid, that's a gun that might still need customizing.

Just for you youngin's, a custom gun, as defined by me, is one that has something different about it than other guns. And no I don't mean 5 of the trim pieces are annoed a different color... that's a paint job, not customization. And no as well to "mine has a blah blah board, lets you surf the internets at G3 speeds, while you play!", that's just goofy & sad. You might as well say "look!... my gun decides when & when not to shoot, for me... cause I sure as hell don't know!". Replacing practice & skill with a magic silicon wafer is not a customization of your marker, its a childish fad that will be over before you know it...then all you punks will be stuck with those... those flashing, clicking, flimsy little relics... like... like... like you were the last guy driving an Edsel!

Sorry, what was I saying?... Oh yeah, custom guns, they should be a visual & mechanical representation of you inner person, a mean little window into your soul. The artistic player displays his talents by say, creatively matching a chromed ball detent with the silver in a polished, three-color splash anno, while still not neglecting to have the valve milled out for that needed boost in airflow. The guy who knows his tools will chop his gun up like a hollywood plastic surgeon, taking off up to half the weight (try that today, and you'd be holding an aluminum tube and some wires when your done), and ending up with a gun that looked nothing like the original (again, much like what happens in hollywood). When players were not on the field, thats what we did... mod our guns, make them better than they were before... better, stronger, faster.

Its not just the elaborate & permanent changes done to the base marker that made them all so special, you could pick from sometimes hundreds of different upgrades & add ons. There were so many companies that made replacement & performance parts, I still see a part now & then from back in the day, that I never saw back then! You could get grip frame for your mag that was double triggered, autoresponsed, chrome plated, pneumatically or electronically actuated, made of plastic, aluminum, or graphite. At least 30 choices of cocker bolt stared you in the face when it was time to upgrade your (some say perfectly adequate) stock bolt.

(soapbox time)

Bitter lament: Now-a-days if you walk into a shop & ask for a bolt upgrade, the guy looks at you funny... cause you have a cocker in your hands, and he doesn't know what kind of marker it even is... thinks it's maybe a very old intimidator... cause he heard those were huge. But really, go in with your DM-Whatever, and ask for a new bolt, one option maybe two on a good day. The main functioning & only moving part of the marker, it determines consistency, efficiency, and sometimes BPS... and any given shop is likely to have only one brand/type (if that). Oh, but if you need a feedneck, to replace the perfectly working factory one (who knows why), you have 7 choices... for a feed neck... a feed neck?... yeah, that part on top your hopper sits on... yes I know they are all the same, but they get them made in china for $.014 @, so you gotta have one! What passes for custom today is lazer ingraving and a new board...
returning old timer (speaking up from the crowd gathered around the bitter lamenter's soap box): A new board?...why?? these new guns shoot 30 balls in a second right from the store... don't they?
bitter lamenter: Yeah, they need a new board to adjust the dwell...
returning old timer: Cant they just lower the input pressure & increase the hammer spring tension?... bitter lamenter: No, the gun doesn't have springs or valves as you know them, sorry...
returning old timer: Oh, I see... well what can I do to customize one of these computer guns?
bitter lamenter: Not much really, "upgrade" some of the parts I guess, but most of the ones that actually shoot the ball, have very few upgrades out there to get.
returning old timer: What parts do have lots of choices in upgrades then?... other than feed necks I mean...
bitter lamenter: Well, you got yer triggers, there are usually a few different ones of those...
returning old timer: Really? triggers?? why a lot of triggers though, do they allow faster shooting?... bitter lamenter: No, but they only cost $.008 from china, so there you go.
returning old timer: Ok, so I get a new trigger and... well get me a feed neck I guess, I want my gun to be differet, but what else?
bitter lamenter: Regulators, yeah there are a bunch of those and grips, barrels, and asa's to! returning old timer: Do the regs operate differently? and the asa's, does one have an advantage over another?...
bitter lamenter: No, not really... the regs are all copies of other ones pretty much, and the asa's are pretty much the same as well.
returning old timer: Hmmm... ah, but the grips, can I get pearl or like a polished wood, like the old marksman style mag grips?
bitter lamenter: I wish!... sorry, no just rubber/plastic grips, usually stickie to some degree & with hot chicks on them.
returning old timer: Well that's something anyway... Oh, barrels! now I can really improve my marker, a new barrel from a good company always added accuracy & distance to our guns back in the day!
bitter lamenter: Sorry, they have proven that most barrels shoot about the same, its more about your aim & quality/size paint.
returning old timer: Then why do they still make a bunch of different barrels...
bitter lamenter (interrupts): more than ever really... so many barrels...
returning old timer (continues): ...if they don't improve performance?... Oh, let me guess, $.048 from china?
bitter lamenter: $.17, they are kinda heavy to ship.
returning old timer: Maybe I should just break out the old cocker, it has close to $2,000 into it...
bitter lamenter: Unfortunately, its only worth $150 today, a bit more if its drilled for eyes...
returning old timer: ...Drilled for eyes??? what the..... fuck it, I don't want to know, but will it keep up with these new guns?
bitter lamenter: Yeah, pretty much, they just lowered the cap on ROF again, I think its like 10 bps now.
returning old timer: WHAT?!... all this technology & potential speed and you have someone telling you that you cant use it?
bitter lamenter: Yeah... kinda funny right?

More fast shooting, efficient, and inexpensive guns are available than ever before, but at what price! I mean, price to our collective sensitivities of course, there are only so many different color combos that look good on an ego... and they have been used up long ago. One more argyle & fuchsia DM and I'm gonna puke! Yes there are more choices than ever on what gun to get... but hardly any on how to make it your own. Back in the day, you shot a cocker or a mag, or you lost. But at any major tourney, you hardly ever saw two guns alike, they all had pretty substantial differences... cause most were CUSTOM. You saw things like totally different bodies, tons of chrome plated stuff, crazy forward angled grip frames, pro & home body milling, and hundreds of different giant drop forwards.

You loved your gun back then, took care of it & it took care of you. Oiled it after every use, adjusted the many adjustments to perfection & your teams guns all matched... in general, same model probably, and same anno, but the details separated yours even from your team mate's.

Now I see these tourney rats regularly toss $2,000 gun setups into the dirt of the sidelines, when they stop shooting. Why did it stop shooting? the jackass doesn't have the slightest idea, the one or two guys who know how guns work will fix it. So they go grab another identical power painter and play on (so to speak). Its all good though, cause their brainless sponsors just send them another box of guns, no big deal for the sponsor, the things only costs them $14 from china. The down gun may be fixed, or more likely used for parts, and end up in a greasy cardboard box under a counter in a shop or field house somewhere. All the while, poor Ethiopian players have to use old mech spyders with gravity hoppers... for shame!

Just one more reason to play pump, custom guns are the norm... to us its not just enough to play well (though that is the easy part), we need a gun to represent us on the field... not another clone off the rack.

-maldon007

Pump AFTER each shot.

So yeah, we say we pump before we shoot (pump players), which is true (since the gun will not shoot till it pumped afterall). But I have noticed a trend among new (very new) pump players, to pump before EACH and EVERY shot... Usually wasting any chance of a snap shot, or of hitting anyone even vaguely paying attention really. Instead of pumping after each shot, to make the gun ready for the next, while you have time.

Nobody ever told me when I started playing pump, that after that first pump, I should pump RIGHT after each shot... so the next shot is free of wasted time & motion. I guess it came naturally, and obviously for some it doesnt. The only time this is irrelivant, is if you are using an autotrigger & shooting fast, then it doesnt matter weather its after or before the shot you are pumping (and imposible to tell really).

Anyway, if you are just starting out playing pump, pump once before the game starts, then immediately after each subsequent shot, Simple.

Homos

It has recently cum to my attention that not ALL pump players are cool... some are solid queers. The players in question would be Jake & Lee, fags for each other no doubt, but watch your own ass as well if they are near!

Just a joke.








Not really.